dropalexdead:

I’m laughing so fucking hard rn, omg.

hyperspaceprincess:

when youre desperate to see if someone is hot

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expels:

my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back

colorguardenthusiast:

trav-tv:

Game postponed due to puppies.

Some of them look so pissed and then you have a few that are like ‘PUPPIES’

bitchpuddinq:

why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink not a dead body

wanktissue:

remember that time i worked in a shoe store and i asked a guy if he needed a hand and he held up one of his arms and he didn’t have a hand and he said “clearly” and laughed really hard and i didn’t know what to do

jaclcfrost:

[jokes about being in love with a character] [is actually serious] [and not joking] [in any way] [at all]

irvinatorr:

wow the fifty shades of grey movie looks intense

elflizard:

Best $1.85 I have ever spent.

Teaching kids to give handjobs since the 90s

the-funkiest-penguin:

friendly-pedophile:

bellamyyoung:

yourgayfriend:

emisummerful:

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You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.

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OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM. 

I did both…image

i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now

You kinky son of a bitch.

2011fringeboy:

"im not a fan of 1d but i like….." is the new no homo

astound:

I just want to lie in bed and not participate in life